Today, on International Women’s Day, this is what I’ve learned from 14 years in the ladies room.
I’ve been musing about the thousands of women I’ve met since I first published my book, Runaway Husbands, on February 1, 2010. The book is about Wife Abandonment Syndrome - when a husband leaves out-of-the-blue from what his wife believed to be a secure marriage. The woman left behind is devastated, traumatized. I’ve had the privilege of helping women recover.
The women in the Runaway Husbands community are in a club they never wanted to be a member of - one where the members have experienced a wife’s worst nightmare. I offer support in the form of therapy groups, workshops and retreats so I’ve met with groups of women on a weekly basis. Sometimes, like during a Sedona Retreat, we spend days and nights together, working on recovery but also, having fun, eating, laughing, talking and connecting.
Through all this, I’ve really gotten to know the women in our world and so often have been dazzled by them. In the early years, I started to notice that the women who participate in my activities are smart, deep, warm, special. Maybe it goes with the runaway husbands paradigm - abandoned wives tend to be empaths - caring and self-sacrificing. Whenever I start a new group, I’m tickled to see how quickly the group gels. Right from the get-go, women are offering support, suggestions and help to the others, even if they’re suffering themselves. Being together is quickly comfortable and women open up, sharing their tears, fears and laughter.
Women are programmed to connect with others going through the same thing. We get pleasure out of talking. I once read that pleasure center of the brain lights up when women talk but when men talk? Crickets. Just being together is healing for women. We learn from each other and feel soothed. Women tend to want to help.
This quote from the blog, TheUnleasedHeart.com, talks about the healing power of a community of women. “It takes a village to heal, too. We start within ourselves, yes, but we can’t do it alone either. We need support, guidance, and a heart with ears. We need to be able to feel heard without judgment, criticism and analyzing.” I’ve often felt that the effectiveness of the workshops and retreats that I run is 50% what I say and 50% what the women get from being together with the others.
So, today on International Women’s Day, I’m sending love to all the women in the world! You just keep being you!
